The gift of asking questions

by | Oct 15, 2015 | Access

Today I am so present to how important it is to ask questions and how easily we can go to a conclusion when we don’t.

One of the gifts of the friendships I have experienced so far is all the new realities I get exposed to as I explore who each person is. And as I have evolved, so have the people that come into my life. Some appear for a reason or season, others for a lifetime, and to me, it’s always fun to explore when there’s a mutual interest until it’s not.

I currently have a new friend in my life that is really having me step up my game and communicate more clearly. In this friendship, I’m learning how I need to ask more questions about possible choices and actions that I take for granted and not make any assumptions that I would have in the past.

It’s an interesting co-creation with both beings choosing to be in each other’s lives moment by moment, communicating, taking action(s), or not. Exploring what works, what our needs are, and giving each the space to be at their pace, what we choose to share, say, be, do, or not? It’s all a choice; it all creates something – pretty simple, huh?

And how interesting it is when old deal breakers appear, and you find yourself no longer getting hooked and instead receive new awarenesses?

So let’s say that you have a conversation that presents a possibility of getting together after an event and that the conversation is left hanging with the assumption that the person extending the invitation will communicate when said event is over and doesn’t; what happens in your world?

Do you go on with whatever you were doing without skipping a beat, or do you wait for the other person to get back to you before choosing something different? Or do you go into “drama” mode?

My epiphany, in this case, was the importance of asking questions that I hadn’t, like “will you get back to me by xx?”. Before this, I would’ve never thought to ask that question; I would’ve made the assumption that the person would, of course, call or text me either way. So now I have that awareness and can remember to ask these types of questions moving forward; how cool is that?

Have you experienced people who say, “I’ll call you later today,” and then don’t? Do you make a conclusion about that? Is that not just being reactive to someone else’s choices? So what can you choose instead for yourself?

I tend to go with the flow for the most part and have learned that true friendships that continue to flourish are pretty effortless as both parties continuously choose to play together, are flexible, and provide space for one another to be who they choose to be. You find a communication frequency that works for both parties while not being attached to who stays and who doesn’t while simply enjoying each interaction for what it is. Being grateful for the people and experiences, no matter what.

The cool thing with asking questions and following the energy of what is light to you is that it doesn’t matter what other people think, you make choices that are empowering for you, and when it’s no longer light, you choose something different.

To have this new friend in my life is very expansive for me at this moment, and yes, it’s not showing up as I “may have expected it to.” And that is one of the fun aspects of allowing the energy of what’s true for me to guide me instead of all the so-called logic and shoulds in this world that I’ve found are most often other people’s POVs!

Do you ask questions when communicating with people, or do you make assumptions? What is the gift in new and old friendships for you? What have you chosen more of than the people in your life?

What if what someone chooses one day does not mean that they will choose that again? Would that work for you? Would you be willing to live so outside the box of this reality that no matter what “other people think,” you will still choose what’s true for you? After all, they are not you, so what can you choose for yourself right now that creates more […] in your world?

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