The noise of other peoples’ reality

by | Mar 8, 2021 | Business, General, Strengths

Have you ever stopped long enough to catch the thoughts of people around you? They could be on the other side of the planet yet an email or text from them triggers you?

Many would say it’s a reflection of you and what if it’s not? What if you’re simply aware and pick up the feelings, thoughts, and emotions of people in a blink of an eye?

When you don’t catch these “reactions” you’ll easily embark on a series of chain reactions to something that wasn’t even yours to start with. Crazy, huh?

What are you aware of?

Many years ago when I first found Access it blew my mind and explained so many things that I didn’t have the words for but knew to be true. While I’m no longer active in the community per se I still use the tools.

I still get hooked now and then. What’s interesting to me is that it’s often the full-circle moments in life. People or situations that pop into my life many years later where there’s a deja vu.

It could be someone you worked with in the past that is back. It could be moving back to a place where you lived. 

Who are you now?

All of a sudden you’re back in the past and there’s that gap between who you were and who you are now.

Many things have changed, and you’re not the same person that you once were. It’s important to acknowledge that to yourself.

Don’t try to fit yourself back into a box of who you once were. It’s easy to do when it’s someone you used to know, even your “old” self, but you’re not the same.

The person you were, let’s say, 10 or 20 years ago didn’t have all the experiences for one and with that awareness.

So, sometimes when we find ourselves in these types of moments, it’s so easy to react until it hits you, hopefully, why.

Why is this important for you to know?

I’ve spent the majority of my professional life with salespeople and in entrepreneurial endeavors.

Alcohol is often part of the equation when you’re courting a prospect or having dinner with a customer.

Over the years I’ve noticed how easy it can be to fall into the trap of becoming a functioning alcoholic in this line of work.

Many in sales are very aware and care deeply about people yet don’t know what to do with this awareness.

It’s easier to cave into peer pressure and blow off steam with a drink than stopping yourself long enough to reflect on why you’re drinking.

Are you a yes or no person?

Saying no is tied to this. Especially when you’re a yes person.

People teased me for years when I said no to having a drink and even during late-night dinners while on the road, with time they stopped.

When you’re on the road attending meetings you work your body hard with long hours, a pressure to sell or represent so self-care easily goes out the window.

Saying no can be tough in those situations, it took me a long time to be OK with saying no in those types of business situations where my presence really wasn’t needed. It often comes down to what’s deemed acceptable in the company culture.

I don’t have any judgment on your choices. Rather, nowadays if I’m tempted to say yes when I really don’t want to I ask myself, why?


What will you choose moving forward?

Most of us have gotten an involuntary break from entertaining in the past year as we’ve found alternate ways of doing business remotely.

While most of us miss connecting with people in person, others are relieved. We’ve had a lot of time to think, break patterns and assess our lives.

Many have made changes in their lives while for others it’s business as usual.

Going back to the triggers in life, stress being a big one, why we get triggered in the first place is often an awareness that we are missing, or dodging.

Sometimes it’s compounded, and that’s why it gets tricky. I had one of those situations myself, an old place where I used to live, someone I used to work with, a reaction followed separate from it all and it took me a day to sort it all out and release the energy.

This is why life is a journey, for some of us longer than others but if we stop long enough now and then we will get the awareness aka the reason why we did what we did.

Not from judgment mind you, when you know why you react you can make a different choice next time or at least remember why next time, and no matter how many reminders, sooner or later you make a different choice and carve out a new path.


CLICK HERE if you’re interested in working with me and exploring how you can apply your strengths to create more flow to your professional and personal life. I’m a coach and strategist for entrepreneurs, leaders, and salespeople.  I help them unlock, reconnect, and ignite their inner power so they can create a life and business that they love.

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